Family Values

What are your family values? Are they any different than your neighbors? Are they rooted in your religion, culture or family? In order for families to move forward in a positive, progressive manner, it's important these values are identified and used as a guide in family decision making. First, have a family discussion. It doesn't matter who you identify as "family". You do however want those persons to be loving, nurturing, supportive and positive influences in your life. The discussion can center around you family's top 5 values. Values are things like respect, trust, loyalty, communication, education, discipline, religion, spirituality and many more. These are things you hold very near and dear to your heart. Next, talk about how you will use your values. For the adults it may include using them at work, in parenting, with friends, in your intimate relationships, with other family members, at the grocery store etc. Making a commitment to use these values will help when people are watching your behaviors or describing you as a person. Although we don't have any control over how people identify us; but, it sure is nice when people can say "I know, Suzie and she is very trust worthy". For kids, you want to use your values at school, with friends, when you're hanging out and even with your body. It's easy to think everyone is doing "whatever" and it's no big deal. Well, your body is a big deal. If your body value is respect and you demonstrate that, people will know your body is not for their pleasure, abuse or anything else. Stand out in a crowd and be different! Being loyal to yourself and your body is great way to do that. Lastly, take every opportunity you can as individuals and families to demonstrate how these values are important to you. If communication is one of the values your family identified, be gentle in the language you use. Talking loud, cursing and calling people out of their name isn't a good way to demonstrate that you value communication. For example, you may have a rule that "We never call anyone any name unless it's something nice". So, you won't have to worry about the people who love you calling you big head or fatty, because those names aren't sweet. In some homes it will be easy to identify your values and for others, not so much. It doesn't matter where you are, what matters is that you are willing to take a look at how you identify your values. Talk about it often, remind each other and be willing to let your behaviors show your value system. Very soon, you will see how you, your family and those around you will see how important these things are too you!